07.24.09
Posted in Defining Moments, Uncategorized at 3:29 am by aina
I just finished a YDM Blessing Box for a family of five. It’s a fairly young couple with four children (ages ranging 4-12). What, you may ask, is compelling me to blog about this Blessing Box vs. any of the other ones I’ve done over the years? This one had a tremendous impact pulling on my heart strings (not that each doesn’t carry its own story). Let me explain…
The reason I started Your Defining Moments several years ago (especially the Blessing Boxes…see www.yourdefiningmoments.com) was to encourage people to speak life and words of encouragement to someone they love and admire. I understand the power of words and wanted to somehow spark a passion in others to take time to admonish those they love. Imagine a young couple on their wedding day receiving notes and letters of blessing from all their family and friends that are gathered with them in celebration. Now, jump through time 25 years and see them at their 25th anniversary sitting snuggled on a couch, pulling out those notes and letters and immediately being transported back in time in their memories as they read through those words again. Having been together that many years, I’m sure they’ve shared many times of joy, heartache, and even struggles that life can bring. Reading the letters will bring back so many wonderful memories and help reignite their passion for each other.
Most of the Blessing Boxes I do are for occasions like that, in celebration of achievements… graduations, promotions, and other “defining moment” occasions like, weddings, baby showers/birth of baby, anniversaries, etc. Well, several months ago I had created a Blessing Box for a family that was moving out of state and their church was writing cards and notes of encouragement for them to take with them so they would always remember their “family” throughout the years. The pastor that ordered the Blessing Box loved it so much that she decided to have another one made for the family to which I am now blogging. When I got the order, I was excited to have her as a repeat customer. She explained to me the situation that this Blessing Box was created for and that’s when my heart broke. This young family had gotten devastating news, the kind of news most of us fear…the mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The church understood the power of encouraging each other through speaking words of blessing and what better way to memorialize it than to document, putting pen to paper. Think of all the times this mom will sit, when fighting discouragement, and read through each carefully written note. Each word “speaking life” to her soul….each person carefully taking time to write words of affirmation, helping her to hold on and fight with everything she has. Can you imagine the impact that will have on her and her family? I’m humbled to have had a small part in this act of love.
This brings me to the point of why I called this entry “Enjoying Life”. Since the day I received the order, I’ve contemplated what that family is going through. Oh how they must cherish every waking moment they have with her still with them. I’m sure simple pleasures like going to the ice cream store, taking an evening walk together, playing family games…(the list goes on) mean the world to them. If the time comes (and I pray a divine miracle will happen for her to live), and she leaves this world, the husband and children will then hold those letters close to them. The letters that spoke life to her will become words of hope for them.
I took my kids to a water park with a dear friend of mine today, and as we floated down the lazy river, my girlfriend’s youngest child lay comfortably in her mother’s lap…safe, secure. As we floated on the rafts, I noticed her little “angel’s” head begin to nod. Before we knew it she was fast asleep. I so wished I had had my camera there to capture that moment. It made me long for the days when my kids were young enough for me to grab them in my arms and hold them close. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my teenagers and tweener. I hold them close even now. I have so much fun with them…my only regret is that I didn’t cherish those younger moments more. Life was so busy then, and it’s even crazier now. The difference between then and now is that I’m determined to enjoy life to the fullest. Enjoy even the simple moments. Does that mean I won’t get frustrated and “take for granted” my blessings? I’m sure my flesh will default at times to the stress of a hectic lifestyle, but I’m determined to try and enjoy it more, cherish it more, take more time to be with those I love…family and friends.
No matter where you are, no matter what you’re going through, enjoy life. Just like this precious family I told you about, make every moment count…I know I am!
What’s your story, please comment on this post…I’d love to hear from you.
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06.20.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 3:30 am by aina
Meet Briggie! I don’t know what happened to me…I got on a whim before Mother’s Day and felt like I needed a “baby” in the house (go figure…Mother’s Day…needing a baby…after all, isn’t that what the holiday is about?).
Knowing our child bearing years are over, I decided the next best thing would have to do. Our five year old Pekingese is our only pet and spends a lot of time alone when the kids are in school and I’m at work. My thought process was that he needed a playmate to keep him company. What better way to solve the problem than to get a new puppy, right? Ok, so here’s where the story begins…
The kids and I began surfing the net looking for the perfect puppy. When the picture of Briggie came up, we knew she was the one. Little did I know at the time that she was from the same breeder as our current dog “Chester”. In fact, she was his cousin! Her mother and Chester’s mother are sisters. What a neat discovery.
Anyway, I called the breeder and he said she was the runt of the litter but was very healthy and “up-to-date” on her vaccinations. We (the kids and I) decided we had to have her THAT weekend, so we talked dad (Derek) in to driving us to Houston to retrieve our new bundle of joy. When we arrived, it was love at first sight. She was soooo small and precious. As soon as I held her, she buried her face in my chest and snuggled right in. I knew right then and there that this puppy was special and she stole my heart. The long drive back to Dallas felt quick, it went by at lightning speed with her to care for. For the next few days, we enjoyed her sweet spirit. She was a special puppy, loving to snuggle and be loved on. However, by the fourth day, we noticed she was beginning to act strangely. That’s when the nightmare began.
She started refusing to eat and we began the process of having to force/hand feed her. By the next day she was throwing up everything she ate. I took her to the vet and they decided to keep her for the day and observe her. They said they were able to get her to eat a little, but then she threw it up. They gave her anti-nausea medicine which seemed to help her keep a little food down. They sent her home with instructions for us to closely monitor her, and if she didn’t get any better to bring her back in. I was so worried about her that I had her with me either on my lap, or close enough for me to check on her every few minutes. I even slept with her on my chest that night to make sure she was ok. You have to understand, she was so unique that even our vet and her staff fell in love with Briggie. They see hundreds of pets (including our last three) and none have had the impact that this little doggie had. There was something so special that mere words can’t describe. I still can’t figure a strong enough way to explain her “specialness”…almost angelic.
Needless to say, because of the way she was feeling, she was now refusing to eat anything. She even got to the point she wouldn’t drink water, which up until then was her favorite thing. With puppies this small, they can’t afford to go long without food. Their little bodies have no reserve to help them survive. As the night went on, she didn’t get better. In fact, she steadily got worse. I took her back to the vet the next day and they kept her the entire day for observation again. This time they sent her home with anti nausea
medicine and told us to feed her by syringe every 3 hours. Derek had made a comment as he fed her that night stating that she seemed “depressed”…like she was just giving up, refusing to eat. I was up late that night working on a project for a huge event we were having that weekend. After Derek fed her, she kept her food down for a little while before throwing it up again. Everyone went to bed and I knew her next feeding would be coming soon. I laid her comfortably in her bed and returned to my work. The next thing I knew, I woke in my bed to Derek calling me. We found her in a comatose state, lifeless with her jaws locked shut. As you can imagine, I FREAKED!!! I couldn’t remember going to bed. I must have fallen asleep at the computer and totally forgot to feed her at the next feeding schedule. I immediately went and got the syringe and tried to get some puppy milk down her. As I emptied it in to her mouth through her locked jaw, it ran out the side and onto my lap. I cried and begged for God to let her live. I talked to her and told her to hang on and not die. With trembling hands and a heavy heart, I called the animal emergency hospital. They told me to bring her right in. I wrapped her in a blanket, held her close, and rushed out the door. When I arrived at the clinic, they took her back and began the process of IV nutrients and fluids. After what seemed like eternity, the vet came out and told me she was responding to treatments. I felt a slight glimmer of hope, and yet deep down a sadness that was indescribable. The nurse came out and informed me that they were bringing her to me with the IV in place (minus the drip) and instructed me to take her back to our vet for the remainder of her treatment. They said she was responding well…”her eyes are open and she is barking”. That, however, was a clue to me that things were not right as Briggie had never barked, not once, since we had her. They brought her out wrapped in a towel and put her in my arms. I can’t begin to tell you the horror that I felt. As I looked at her frail little body, she didn’t even look like the same dog I brought in hours before…my precious Briggie. Her face had changed shape and the “barking” they said she was doing was a horrific crying sound. My heart began to race as I quickly got in my car to rush her to the vet. Little did I know that the reason they were in such a hurry to send her out was because they were closing. It was now 9am (I brought her in at 6am) and they were closing until later that evening. I tried to lay her gently in my lap so as not to make her feel any more discomfort than she was already feeling. About five minutes in to the drive, she started screaming…let me repeat, SCREAMING! I called Derek hysterical because she was in incredible pain and I couldn’t help her. The next thing I knew, she opened her mouth really wide, screamed one last time, and took her last breath. I still feel the immense pain and horror I felt that morning even as I type this. By the time I reached our vet, I walked through the doors, handed Briggie to them, and melted in a pool of tears. I sobbed like I haven’t done in years. They took her back to see if they could revive her. As I sat in an isolated room waiting for the vet to return, I felt hopeless. I felt guilty that I had fallen asleep. I felt like it was all my fault. As she entered the room, it took her a few moments to tell me the news. With tears in her eyes she announced that Briggie “didn’t make it”. Although I had already known it, (after all, she died in my arms) it seemed more than I could take hearing it come from the doctor’s mouth.
Let me pause here a moment…If you’re not an animal lover, you are probably reading this thinking “so what, it’s just an animal…what’s the big deal?” However, if you are an animal lover, you know the kind of pain I’m talking about. It was unbelievable.
I cried the entire way back home. As soon as I entered the house, I melted in Derek’s arms and sobbed some more. After getting most of it out of my system throughout the day, another emotional wave was still to come…telling the kids. That was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. As expected, it hit them very hard.
The breeder had told us that he would replace any of his puppies if they were “defective” in any way. We called to tell him what happened. I won’t go in to detail, but let me say, it was a rough, discouraging few days that followed. My husband went through a grueling process to get the breeder to replace our puppy. After days of communicating back and forth, he finally agreed to give us 
another dog. In fact, he gave us Briggie’s sister. My father happened to be in Houston at that very moment and was able to go and pick the new puppy up. They got home late in the evening. We welcomed our new blessing, Bella-Raine. Although she will never take the place of her little sister Briggie (I don’t think any animal ever could or will), Bella-Raine has brought so much joy in the house. She is full of life and spunk. She LOVES to play and be played with. She has been an amazing blessing and addition to our home.
As I now look back on the short little life of Briggie, we learned some valuable lessons. We learned that she suffered from separation anxiety from her mom (because she was a runt, she was not ready to be taken from her mother at the same age most puppies can be taken). More importantly, she was not developing properly and probably wouldn’t have lived a very healthy life even if she had survived. I believe God knew she was going to die and He allowed her last days to be with a family He knew would love her beyond words. I also believe Briggie knew she was loved. She cuddled in when we held her those last few days. It was as if she understood she was dying and we were doing all we could to save her. God knew Bella-Raine would be our puppy…He knew she would be our blessing in disguise. He also knew Briggie would need to be abundantly loved before her time was up on this earth. I believe He allowed her to come and live with us to give her that love, especially during her last few moments.
Life is precious, life is sweet, regardless of whether it’s human or animal. Cherish it!
To all you pet lovers….I’d love to hear your story, how much your pet means to you.
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03.19.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 5:52 am by aina
We’ve all gotten them at least once, especially if you’re part of the technological age and have an e-mail account. What am I talking about? A scary story or warning that is sent as an “urgent…do not ignore…pass on to everyone you know and love!” message. My daughter got one such message texted to her cell phone while at youth service the other night. It was the old “if you’re a female, don’t go to Walmart because the gangs are doing an initiation and killing women at these stores…pass this on to all the women you know and love”….it drives me crazy!!! My poor daughter was shocked and scared. After all, this was a friend she knew that sent it and said she heard it on the news. Although it sounded all too familiar to me, I went to almighty Google and did a search on it because I had just heard of a woman being shot in a Walmart parking lot just the week before. After doing a little investigative research, as usual, it turned up to be another hoax…another “urban legend.”
I often wonder what the authors of these stories do for a living, the people who make up these crazy stories. Reminds me of a few other famous gang stories… “don’t get out of your car when getting gas, they’re waiting underneath to slit your ankles and then kill you,” or “don’t flash your lights at an oncoming car driving with lights off at night, the gangs are ordered to shoot whomever flashes lights at them.” Do these sickos sit and dream up these lies just hoping to manipulate and control through fear, or are they some sort of psycho that loves not knowing the impact, all the while hoping their message will go global and cause worldwide panic? Either way, it’s a disturbing concept. One thing I’ve learned over the years is to never take every message you get as gospel truth. Whenever you receive an e-mail that sounds questionable, go to sites like www.snopes.com. They are constantly researching stories and checking sources and validity. They will not only tell you if it’s true, they will usually know the origination and the different variations that are done over the years.
Don’t fall prey to these fools. If you get a suspicious message, please verify for truth before passing on to everyone in your address book. It not only causes undue stress, but ties up the internet highway with trash and wastes precious time for the unfortunate recipient.
Remember the old saying “drive responsibly?”…let’s put it to use on the internet highway as well…”email responsibly!”
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03.16.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 2:28 am by aina
At first I was upset when I received this movie in exchange for the soundtrack to Fireproof. After all, I had pre-ordered the Fireproof movie during the madness of Christmas rush (before it was out on DVD) and paid extra to get the CD with all the music. I didn’t want something else in its place…especially a movie I’d never even seen, let alone heard of!!! Little did I know…
It was Friday night, our family night, and a movie is just what everyone decided to be our evening event. It was too cold to go out, so we decided to watch something at home. With a crackling fire in the fireplace, we settled in and got cozy in the den. After rummaging through our baskets of movies, we all decided to break open the seal and give this one a try. We’d seen everything else at least a half dozen times, why not watch something new? We recognized Michael W. Smith, but we hadn’t heard of the rest of the cast. I didn’t expect much, but let me tell you, I was very pleasantly surprised.
This is a movie about looking and going beyond the “stained glass windows”, getting outside our comfort zones, and reaching out to a hurting world. Ethan Jenkins (played by Michael W. Smith) is a suburban pastor of a wealthy church, “The Rock”, who is forced by his board members to spend time in the ghetto neighborhood and work with their sister church, “The Second Chance.” Their hope is that he’ll see the light and quit making, what they consider, mistakes in the pulpit. Ethan is forced to face the prejudices in his own heart that he didn’t realize existed. He is charged to work alongside a bitter and hard to get along with, street smart pastor (played by Jeff Obafemi Carr). It proves to be one of his greatest challenges. Ethan’s defining moment came when he spent time reaching out to brothers and sisters who were less fortunate than he, some of whom were homeless, and others that were addicted to drugs and gambling. As he rose each day to do his duties in the ghetto, his heart began to soften and change as he faced the realities of life in “the hood.” After seeing young children and families who had fled violence and escaped their country running for their lives, and helping addicts to turn their lives around, no longer did he desire “comfort as usual.” He realized there was more to life, more to ministry, more hope for a future…by helping a hurting, dying world. Producer, Steve Taylor, did a wonderful job of bringing to the screen the realities of life in the poor neighborhoods of our great nation. He also showed how we, the church, can so easily get caught up in the luxuries of life and forget about our neighbors who are suffering. Even in doing God’s work and focusing on reaching the masses, we can easily lose sight of loving our local neighbors. So, what can we do to make a difference? That’s a question we all have to ask ourselves. Mega churches can do great things….I know, my family and I attend a mega church and it’s awesome. There’s a lot to be said about the work they can do. But we, as a people, as a nation, even as a church have to search our hearts and motives and do our part to help those in need that live in our own “backyards.” We accomplish the great commission by spending time feeding the homeless, doing volunteer work in a shelter, and sponsoring under privileged children to get good educations, just to name a few. We can no longer sit back and expect the government to do the work. It’s time to look beyond the stained glass windows, go outside the four walls, and reach out to our brothers and sisters in need.If you are currently involved in community service of any kind, I’d love to hear from you. I want to spotlight some organizations and individuals who are making a difference in their communities in a future blog! Please submit your story to ainac@yourdefiningmoments.com.
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02.13.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 6:13 am by aina
I was watching a video of the Larry King interview with former pastor Ted Haggard about his fall and the “restoration” process he has been undergoing for the past two years. Restoration…an interesting word, what exactly does it mean? I hear it used a lot and decided to dig a little deeper to fully understand. I began by looking its definition up in the Merriam-Webster dictionary. The definition was as follows; an act of restoring or the condition of being restored, a bringing back to a former position or condition.
As I usually do, I sat and contemplated on it for awhile. As I pondered, I thought intently on the fact that in order for something to be restored, or need restoration, it must have gone through an event or process that caused damage. If there were no problems, or it (what is being restored) hadn’t suffered damage, there would be no reason for it to be fixed or restored.
It brought to mind a recent discovery that occurred in our home. I got on a whim one afternoon (which happens often) and ripped the old carpet out of our bedroom thinking it might be the catalyst that would get me new flooring J (hasn’t happened yet). In the process, I found a significant crack that ran straight down the middle of our home. We couldn’t tell it was there before because it had been covered by the padding and carpet. Sure, we could see small signs throughout the house; hairline cracks on the walls, cracks showing up in different areas of the house…even a tile in the guest bathroom had cracked one day from the pressure brought on by the separation of the foundation beneath its surface. But, even with the “warning” signs, we still didn’t realize how significant the damage was beneath the visual surface. I thought all the little cracks were from the houses normal “settling” process. After all, when I questioned the small “hairline” cracks throughout the house, I had been told that if it was anything significant enough to worry about, we would have problems with the doors closing, etc. Little did we know! The foundation is the most important thing in a home (as far as its structure). It’s what holds the walls up and keeps everything together. If there are problems with the foundation, there are problems with the entire structure. Where there is no foundation, or in this case a weak foundation, the rest of the house suffers…it can’t stand. I believe it’s the same in life. We must have a strong “foundation” in order for our lives to be strong.
In the case of Ted Haggard, there were signs ahead of time…hairline cracks in his walls (figuratively speaking). Problem was, he kept it covered up…hidden. He didn’t get the proper help he needed until he experienced a major crack in his foundation and his walls began crumbling down around him. The devastation was almost irreparable. Thank God he has a family that loves and believes in him and has decided to walk through the restoration process together. Much like restoring a home, it’s a difficult and sometimes filthy process. It can get dirtier before it gets better…before the “dust” settles. I can’t image the pain they have all gone through, as well as the enormous about of pain in the lives of the individuals mixed up in the entire ordeal (including his church congregation). But now, thankfully, he and his family are seeking restoration and on the road to recovery.
Dare to ask yourself a question…how is your foundation? Do you have hairline cracks in your walls? What are you grounded on? Is your house built on solid rock or sinking sand? You may be in the middle of a crisis, or you may be someone who has suffered significant pain in your past…I know I have. When it all comes down to it, if you’ve lived more than a moment on this earth, you’ve experience pain. From the time you pushed your way through that narrow birth canal and gasped your first breath to the day you’re currently living, you’ve had pain in one form or another. It’s what we do with the pain that will either make or break us.
I’m a person of strong spiritual convictions. My soul (mind, will, and emotions) is in constant need of maintenance and care. If you are a human being like me, your soul needs constant care as well. I’m not ashamed to admit I can’t fix myself and that I rely heavily on a loving God to help me. When I’ve gone (and go through) turbulent times, I seek advice, strength, and help from mature, sound counsel. It’s imperative to pay attention to the warning signs, the cracks in the walls, no matter how insignificant they may seem. We each have a divine purpose in this life on earth. Even the Ted Haggard’s, who have fallen a little harder than some of us because of their high profile positions, are not beyond hope. Where ever you find yourself in life, whatever state you’re in, don’t give up…don’t quit. Get the help you need to be on the road to restoration… the help you need to be restored. You never know, sometimes restoration turns out better than its original form.
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